I have been feeling a stirring in me soul lately. I have always wanted to be an interior designer. I always will wont to be on but I have always wanted to help people too. I feel for people. I feel I am worth spending money on and having the things I want so I do things for my self but I still really want to help others help themselves.
For about three months now, I have been having dreams of myself in a place that is scary for me to venture into. I don't seem like i know what I am doing but I feel I am doing the right things every time I wake up. I have been just pushing it away thinking it is just something that I am dreaming about and that is it. Then it hit me....I tend to dream about my desires and my fears. I really do. I see myself in the situations that I have experienced, sometimes I handle them in different ways but they are generally the same. When I was 13 and accepted Christ in my life, I also recieved a calling. I felt as thought God had been waiting for me my whole life to accept Him so that He could give me this important duty. Something that only I can do. When I felt it, I knew what He was asking me to do and of course I said "YES!!!"
During my Sophomore year of college, I felt as thought this calling wasn't right for me. I felt as though God made a mistake or I just wasn't listening to the right voice. It was a time in my life that I wasn't the Christian I once was and my self esteem was going way down. I didn't even believe that Ben was going to go through with marrying me. "Why would he marry some ugly, piece of trash like me?" I planned our wedding anyway and he obviously went through with it.
Well now having gone through Break Through, I have a healthy self esteem and feel a little better about what I know I can and can't do. I am will to take risks. I am willing to actually do what I planned on doing in the first place.I am still going to do Interior Design but I am also going to do Youth Ministry. I miss it. I miss seeing the light bulbs turning on and watching teenagers grow and becoming whole beings. And hey, I have the degree already so it shouldn't be hard to get back into it. I should be able to get back into it. I am going to try this week to talk to one of my professors to help me figure out what steps I should take. I am scared and excited all at once but I really feel it is time and I feel that this is something that I can do with God's help. Please pray for me as I head into this difficult path of the unknown.
During my Sophomore year of college, I felt as thought this calling wasn't right for me. I felt as though God made a mistake or I just wasn't listening to the right voice. It was a time in my life that I wasn't the Christian I once was and my self esteem was going way down. I didn't even believe that Ben was going to go through with marrying me. "Why would he marry some ugly, piece of trash like me?" I planned our wedding anyway and he obviously went through with it.
Well now having gone through Break Through, I have a healthy self esteem and feel a little better about what I know I can and can't do. I am will to take risks. I am willing to actually do what I planned on doing in the first place.I am still going to do Interior Design but I am also going to do Youth Ministry. I miss it. I miss seeing the light bulbs turning on and watching teenagers grow and becoming whole beings. And hey, I have the degree already so it shouldn't be hard to get back into it. I should be able to get back into it. I am going to try this week to talk to one of my professors to help me figure out what steps I should take. I am scared and excited all at once but I really feel it is time and I feel that this is something that I can do with God's help. Please pray for me as I head into this difficult path of the unknown.
1 comments:
Irene, I am so proud of you for taking that step and reacting on Gods calling for your life! Just remember, when you get discouraged know that it is Satan trying to shake you because he sees you as a threat. You are such a wonderful gal and I know God has something awesome in store for you!
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